Coaching Without the “Fix-It” Mentality | The Conversation Lab
- Deane Lam
- Dec 19, 2025
- 2 min read
Welcome to The Conversation Lab!
This is where we capture the best of our collective workshop dialogues — turning talk into practical steps, simple tips, and usable ideas for everyday leadership. No jargon, just clear takeaways you can try right away.
In our recent leadership workshop session with supervisors, we tackled one of the most common coaching pitfalls: entering conversations assuming something is WRONG. Sounds familiar?
When we coach from a place of judgment, we shut down dialogue. Great coaching starts with curiosity, not correction.
Here’s what emerged from our discussions—simple, powerful ways to coach for growth.
1- Shift Your Mindset First
Coaching isn’t just for fixing problems. It’s for unlocking potential.
Instead of thinking: “What needs correcting?”
Try thinking: “What can I learn about this person’s perspective?”
This neutral starting point changes everything.
2- Listen Like a Blank Page
Neutral listening means listening to understand, not to reply—or to judge.
Don’t interrupt.
Don’t assume.
Don’t mentally prepare your advice while they’re talking.
Practical tip: Start with, “Tell me more about how you saw the situation.”
This opens the door. It says: I’m here to understand you.
3- Ask, Don’t Tell
After listening, use open questions to explore:
“What felt most challenging about that?”
“What would you like to see happen next time?”
“How can I support you in this?”
Then, paraphrase what you heard: “So, if I’m hearing you right, you’re saying that timing was the biggest hurdle—is that accurate?”
This confirms understanding and shows you’re truly engaged.
4- Coach the Positive, Too
Coaching moments exist even when things go well.
“I noticed how you handled X. What was your thinking behind that approach?”
“You’ve grown in [skill]—how can we apply that strength elsewhere?”
This builds confidence and encourages repeat success.
5- Encourage Loudly, Appreciate Often
We underestimate the power of recognition. A little encouragement fuels more growth than constant correction.
Try:
“I really appreciate how you…”
“Your effort on [task] didn’t go unnoticed.”
“I’ve seen progress in [area]—keep going.”
6- Model the Way
Your team watches how you listen, ask questions, and give feedback.
Listen fully in meetings.
Ask for feedback on your own work.
Say “I don’t know yet, and let’s find out” when appropriate.
You’re not just a coach—you’re a role model.
Your Lab Work This Week
Start the next coaching conversation with a neutral, open question.
Listen without interrupting.
Paraphrase before responding.
Identify one strength to acknowledge before discussing improvements.
Ask: “How can I support you?” at least once.
Coaching through a lens of possibility—not problem-solving—transforms team trust and growth. Try one tip this week and notice the shift.
To explore bringing other ideas to your organization, learn more about The Learning Table program.
